Are you a worrier?

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From time to time, we all worry, but do you spend too much time feeling fear and anxiety over minor events?  Worry is a fear, and it’s the second most common reason why people feel stuck.  They feel unable to move forward because they fear what might happen if they do.  But you don’t have to let worry take over your life, and you can conquer that fear with a few simple steps.  Since most of our fear comes from thinking about what might happen in the future, let’s figure out how you can handle that fear and how you can worry less.

Making up awful stories of all the horrible things that can happen and running over them again and again in your mind won’t solve anything.  We have no way of telling what might happen in the future.  However, in most situations, we do have a couple of options.  What will solve this? taking out a pen and piece of paper, figuring out your options, and making a plan.

TO ELIMINATE YOUR WORRY, ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS:

1.) What can I control? You can eliminate 99% of your worry just by factoring in the pieces of the situation that you can control.  So what do you have control over?  Well, we all have control over how we handle things and how to deal with it.  We have control over our attitudes, and in most instances, we have a great deal of control over the decisions we make.

2.) What could possibly happen?  Think objectively about the possibilities.  Start with the worst.  Then, move to the second worst possibility, and then possibilities that might not be that bad, and then those that would be fantastic.  When you identify the worst thing that could possibly happen and figure out how you would handle it, most of your worry will disappear.

3.) What are my options?  While you can’t control what other people think or how they behave, you do have options.   With each possible situation, what options do you have and which would you choose?  Knowing what your options are will give you that piece of mind and a sense of calm.

With the right plan and belief in yourself, you can handle anything that comes your way.  So instead of worrying about it without really thinking things through, sit down with pen and paper and start working through the possibilities. Know what you’re going to do, because with a plan, you can handle anything!

How to create balance

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Have you ever thought, “If I could just accomplish this one goal, I would be happy.”?  But when you achieved your goal, you still did not feel the sense of satisfaction you thought you would?  Oftentimes, this is a result of the important areas of your life being out of balance.  For instance, if you’re having success in your career, but your relationship with your family is struggling; achieving yet another career goal most likely will not bring you happiness.

Creating balance in the important areas of your life will enable you to feel a sense of satisfaction and inner peace.  You can do this by evaluating your level of satisfaction in each of these areas and setting goals that will help you focus on areas that need your attention.

10 IMPORTANT AREAS OF LIFE

When writing out your list of 10 goals for the year, take some time to evaluate the 10 important areas of life.  You may realize that some of your goals need to be adjusted.  Consider your level of satisfaction in the following areas:

  • Environment/surroundings
  • Time spent doing fun activities
  • Time spent doing activities that result in personal growth
  • Spirituality/faith
  • Career and fulfilling your purpose
  • Financial situation
  • Relationships with friends & family
  • Romantic relationship(s)
  • Health & fitness
  • Emotional health

As you look over this list, you may find that you are more satisfied with certain areas of your life than others.  When you create (or recreate) your list of 10 goals for the year, adding some goals in the areas you feel less satisfied with help create balance in your life… and creating balance will likely result in a greater feeling of overall happiness, fulfillment and a sense of balance that will translate into inner peace.

Is it Karma?Law of attraction?

IMG_7012Are you one of those people that truly believe you have bad luck? So many people assume they have no control over how things turn out.  They believe they’ve tried everything they possibly can, and when it comes down to it, success is really just a matter of luck.  And successful people are simply luckier than others.  Not true! You have total control over your situation and the opportunities that come your way.

Can you turn the universe in your favor?  You say you’ve tried everything… so what’s missing?  Well, it might be a little difficult to accept but it is: it’s your attitude.

Have you ever notice how when you pick a line at the grocery store, you naturally gravitate toward the person standing tall, with shoulders back, and a bit of a smile on their face over the person slouching and looking miserable?  We naturally go to the person that is showing a better energy and attitude.

The same is true of opportunities.  When you have a good attitude, more people will want to be around you and spend time with you. And when opportunities arise, you’ll be the first person they think of because of your attitude. You’ll build better relationships which means more connections, possibilities, and opportunities.  Your attitude can actually attract better opportunities to you!

So what kind of attitude do you have?  What kind of energy do you attract?  Anyone can pretend to be positive and a team player, but a bad attitude really can’t be hidden for long.  As soon as you are pushed, your true colors will show.

Most people don’t think they’ve got a bad attitude.  But, have you ever assumed that the negative things happening in your life are a result of bad luck, or a lack of education, your upbringing, the wrong circumstances, etc.?  If so, your attitude may be in need of a little tweaking.  But can’t we all afford to have a little bit of a better attitude?

Here’s the good news:  you can change your attitude!  How do you do that?  Well, there’s a number of ways, but one of the best is by improving your confidence.  Change the beliefs you have about yourself.  Know that what you focus on becomes your reality.  When you focus on the negative, or worry about what other people might be thinking, the negative becomes your reality and your attitude.  When you focus on the positive, your confidence and attitude will improve, and your life will truly change.

 

FEELING STUCK?

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Maybe you’ve dreamed of achieving something great, or you’ve set a goal for yourself, but you feel like you’re not making any progress.  Whatever it is that has you feeling stuck, I want to share with you three tips to help you get unstuck.

STEP #1 – ASK FOR ADVICE.

Ask for advice from someone who’s been there and done that – someone who’s been successful and someone who’s going to tell it like it is.  Yeah, it might sting a little, but it won’t kill you.  It will make you a little uncomfortable, but guess what happens when we get uncomfortable?  We change. We adjust. We MOVE!

STEP #2 – JUST DO IT!

I know you’re a little scared of what might happen.  But if you know it’s right, and it’s something you need to do, well then just do it!

I know you know what I’m talking about.  What’s that one thing you know you need to do that you’ve been avoiding?  Making a phone call?  Scheduling a meeting?  Reading a book? Signing up for a class?  What is it?  It doesn’t have to be anything huge.  In fact, it might only take a few minutes, but it’s step one.

STEP #3 – SET SMALL, ACHIEVABLE DAILY MEASURES.

Finally, if you feel stuck, but you also know you’ve been trying as hard as you can to make changes, you probably haven’t set small enough milestones.

What action, what baby steps can you take each day (not weekly or monthly, but daily) to keep moving forward?

It’s hard to keep moving toward a goal seems so far away.  But by setting daily milestones for yourself, you’ll see that you’re making progress and will stay motivated to keep at it until you reach your big goal.

Surround yourself with successful people that want to be a part of your success. This is how you will get unstuck….and I know you will!!

Are you a people pleaser?

IMG_1905Are you a chronic people pleaser?  This simple phrase will help you successfully manage and eventually cure your disease to please.    Breaking myself of the people-pleasing habit has allowed me to be significantly more productive and enabled me to focus on my priorities.

WHY YOU’RE A PEOPLE PLEASER

You’re a people pleaser because you’re a do-er.  Everyone counts on you because you get things done.  As a chronic people pleaser, you feel like you’re letting others down by saying no. The people around you have become comfortable relying on you because you’ve said “yes” to so many requests and always pulled through.

While it’s great to do things for other people, you have to do things for yourself, too.  Oftentimes, a chronic people pleaser stops making time for his or herself and feels resentment, exhaustion, or a variety of other things as a result.  But, you can’t blame others for counting on you when you’ve conditioned them to do so by saying yes to everything.  So instead, simply break this habit and cure your disease to please

 My favorite reply: “Thank you so much for thinking of me. Let me check my schedule, and I’ll get back to you.”

Memorize and practice using this phrase.  Using this reply gives you time to check your commitments and determine if saying yes actually makes sense.  It also keeps you from having to say the word you fear saying most: NO.

Best practices

  • Practice saying this reply so that it becomes a natural response.
  • There is no need to offer details or an explanation.  People will rarely challenge you.  If however, someone expresses disappointment in your response, ask yourself if this person really wants the best for you or if their purpose is self-serving.
  • When you’re not 100% sure if you should say yes or no, review your list of priorities and see if it fits. Why are you considering saying yes?
  • Do things for other people when it feels good, makes sense, and fits with your priorities – not when it compromises them.
  • Each time you do say yes to something, you should say no to something else.  Avoid letting your plate get too full.  When you put something on your plate, take something else off.
  • Ask yourself, “Is this the best use of my time?”
  • If you feel misplaced guilt for saying no, review your list of goals and priorities

Follow this simple practice today.  Not only will you feel an immediate sense of relief, but you will also have confidence in knowing that you’re spending your time doing things that align with your priorities and goals.

DO MORE IN LESS TIME

IMG_2105Most people have heard of the 80/20 rule in regards to business, finances, and productivity, but did you know this is really a universal rule that can be applied to just about anything?  The Pareto Principle states that “80% of all effects come from 20% of all causes.” .

While the 80/20 rule is highly effective in business and financial situations, it’s also highly effective when applied to your goals. Applying this single rule will enable you to be more productive, achieve more in less time, and get quicker results.

THE 80/20 RULE AND YOUR GOALS

Some tips for applying the 80/20 rule to your goals:

  • When it comes to your goals and even your daily To-Do List, identify the 20% that counts and focus there first.
  • More-efficient actions should take the highest priority when planning your day.
  • This doesn’t mean ignore the other 80%, but it does mean you need to focus on your 20% first!!
  • Ask yourself, “Is this the most important thing I could be doing right now?”

Remember, you can’t do EVERYTHING. So, just get really good at doing the important stuff first!

START DOING

IMG_2072Throughout the day, it’s easy to drift off into la-la land and get lost in a day dream.  A lot of us  have big dreams of what we want to accomplish and a clear picture of the life we want to live…some day but we waste a lot of time dreaming, when we could be turning our dreams into goals, creating an action plan, and making it happen.  Dreaming is easy – the hard part  is figuring out where to start.  So, let’s do some Reverse Engineering to make those dreams a reality!

TURN A DREAM INTO A GOAL – SET A DEADLINE

A dream becomes a goal once you set a deadline.  This gets the ball rolling!  When you set a deadline, you’re making a decision to work at something.

DO A BRAIN DUMP

After setting a deadline write down every single thing that needs to be done to accomplish your goal.  Get detailed here.  Your list should include even the smallest tasks that must be completed. Then, break down larger tasks into even smaller ones.

CATEGORIZE AND ORGANIZE TASKS

Now that you have a list of tasks, don’t get overwhelmed!  Organizing your tasks into the following categories will make the order in which you need to work

1.) Research – Here’s the cool part: anything you want to do, it’s very likely that someone else has not only done it, but is willing to inform you how.  You have access to the information, so do your research. Youtube, anyone?

2.) First – After your research is complete, what tasks must be completed first to set you into motion?  It’s that simple!  This is where you start!

3.) During – This category includes tasks that you can work on along the way.  You will address them when the time is right.

4.) Later –  This includes anything that can wait and anything that doesn’t make sense to do right now.

START DOING!

You’ve created a plan, now it’s time to get to moving!  Each day, put three new tasks on your to-do list, and check them off! (Think bite-sized to-do’s – it should take no more than 30 minutes a day to accomplish each item on your list.)

When you have a big goal, it’s easy to get over whelmed.  Don’t let this stop you!  By learning all you can and creating a plan based on the experiences of those who have already achieved success in the area that you want to focus, you are designing a foundation for your own success in making your dreams a reality.

Readjusting the plan

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I’ve realized that when setting goals, the things people struggle with most are identifying their priorities and choosing goals that not only align with their priorities but also create balance in life.

Take a look at these 10 areas of life, and think for a moment how satisfied YOU are with each area.

  • Environment
  • Fun/Leisure
  • Personal Growth
  • Spirituality/Faith
  • Financial
  • Friends & Family Relationships
  • Romantic Relationship
  • Fitness/Health
  • Emotional Health

Evaluating the Important Areas of Life

Think of each area individually and ask yourself how satisfied you are with that area.  Where do you need to put more focus? Where might you spend too much time?

Oftentimes, evaluating your satisfaction level with these 10 different areas of life can make your priorities more clear.

Once you’re able to identify your top priority, your list of 10 goals for the year will come to you more quickly.  Bring more balance and satisfaction to your life by making sure your list of 10 goals covers each of the 10 important areas of life.

Sometimes, it can be difficult and even uncomfortable to evaluate your life and make changes.  However, taking the time to figure out what you really want and making a plan to get there saves you loads of time and frustration in the long run.

Sometimes we have to slow down to speed up.  Do the dirty work and put a plan in place, and you’ll be well on your way to where you want and need to go!

How to find your passion

IMG_0174Think of the things you love to do.  Every single one of us excels at something.  Each of us has an experience or story that can speak to others.

  • What is it you love doing?
  • What do people compliment you on?
  • What makes you feel energized and competent?
  • When do you feel most in service of others?
  • What is it that brings others to ask you for advice?
  • What is the message you would really love to share?

Wouldn’t it be great to share your knowledge and passion with others?  Don’t you think they would benefit from experiencing your topic from your unique perspective?

Hope this questions help you find your passion and share it with us. Remember there is no one in the world better suited to share the information that illuminates your life than you!