Are you a people pleaser?

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IMG_1905Are you a chronic people pleaser?  This simple phrase will help you successfully manage and eventually cure your disease to please.    Breaking myself of the people-pleasing habit has allowed me to be significantly more productive and enabled me to focus on my priorities.

WHY YOU’RE A PEOPLE PLEASER

You’re a people pleaser because you’re a do-er.  Everyone counts on you because you get things done.  As a chronic people pleaser, you feel like you’re letting others down by saying no. The people around you have become comfortable relying on you because you’ve said “yes” to so many requests and always pulled through.

While it’s great to do things for other people, you have to do things for yourself, too.  Oftentimes, a chronic people pleaser stops making time for his or herself and feels resentment, exhaustion, or a variety of other things as a result.  But, you can’t blame others for counting on you when you’ve conditioned them to do so by saying yes to everything.  So instead, simply break this habit and cure your disease to please

 My favorite reply: “Thank you so much for thinking of me. Let me check my schedule, and I’ll get back to you.”

Memorize and practice using this phrase.  Using this reply gives you time to check your commitments and determine if saying yes actually makes sense.  It also keeps you from having to say the word you fear saying most: NO.

Best practices

  • Practice saying this reply so that it becomes a natural response.
  • There is no need to offer details or an explanation.  People will rarely challenge you.  If however, someone expresses disappointment in your response, ask yourself if this person really wants the best for you or if their purpose is self-serving.
  • When you’re not 100% sure if you should say yes or no, review your list of priorities and see if it fits. Why are you considering saying yes?
  • Do things for other people when it feels good, makes sense, and fits with your priorities – not when it compromises them.
  • Each time you do say yes to something, you should say no to something else.  Avoid letting your plate get too full.  When you put something on your plate, take something else off.
  • Ask yourself, “Is this the best use of my time?”
  • If you feel misplaced guilt for saying no, review your list of goals and priorities

Follow this simple practice today.  Not only will you feel an immediate sense of relief, but you will also have confidence in knowing that you’re spending your time doing things that align with your priorities and goals.

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